【胖纸讲笑话】第二期 糗事一籮筐 -
文章简介：新换了个地理老师，讲题讲的特别弄得全班特无奈，最后送她一外号学校的女厕所里用的水是水箱里的某天，水箱坏了，你懂的，学校就一位老师路过，看到说:某某大学生病住院.，傍晚老爸来医院慰问老爸坐在床边，边削苹果边温柔的我心想：老爸也有温柔细腻的一面继续削着苹果，削好了，放到嘴里还有十多包姨妈巾（我都是一次性她很生气的冲我喊：“谁叫你买那刚刚篮球场，看见一伙人在打篮球车上是一个老大爷。老大爷停车，<BR><BR><BR><BR> <BR> 两天已更新，每次都有不一样的。<BR><BR> 生活中都会遇见搞笑的糗事，如果你有好笑的糗事<BR><BR> 就分享粗来吧。。。。。 會有烩面吃哟<BR><BR><BR><BR><BR> 新换了个地理老师，讲题讲的特别快，一节课能讲完四张卷子，都不让提问，<BR> 弄得全班特无奈，最后送她一外号:聚能环。。。一节更比六节强! <BR><BR><BR> 学校的女厕所里用的水是水箱里的，男厕所里用的水就直接从自来水管道接过去的水。<BR> 某天，水箱坏了，你懂的，学校就锁了那幢楼的女厕所。。。。。。<BR> 结果，呼啦啦的，女生全跑男厕所上去了，男生吓得都不敢进了。<BR> 一位老师路过，看到说:某某大学的女生就是不一样，上厕所都专挑男厕所上！！！。。。。。。。<BR> 汗！大汗！严重汗！-_-||| <BR><BR> <BR> 生病住院.，傍晚老爸來醫院慰问我，老爸向来都是个不把爱挂在脸上的大男人，<BR> 老爸坐在床边，边削苹果边温柔的跟我聊天，突然感觉好温暖啊，从没跟老爸这么聊的来....<BR> 我心想：老爸也有温柔细腻的一面啊，还给我削苹果，心里各种感动....老爸跟我聊着天，<BR> 继续削着苹果，削好了，放到嘴里咔叱咔叱啃起来了....然后继续跟我聊天....<BR><BR><BR> 家有六岁萝莉一枚，昨天带她去超市，买了一堆吃的，<BR> 还有十多包姨妈巾（我都是一次性买几个月的），在收银台买單的时候，<BR> 她又想要一盒糖，我不想买，因为她有蛀牙，我就说沒钱了，<BR> 她很生气的冲我喊：“谁叫你买那么多贴屁股的，把钱都花光了”。 <BR><BR><BR> 刚刚篮球场，看见一伙人在打篮球，忒热闹了。突然球飞出场外，撞在了一个电动车上，<BR> 车上是一个老大爷。老大爷停车，捡篮球，还以为要扔给他们，可他将篮放上电动车开走了，<BR> 后面一伙人，在吼，在追，在凌乱，在笑～～ <BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><SCRIPT id=ExtractFlashCode>try { if (document && document.body){ if (window.extractflash) { } else { window.extractflash = 'come'; var Util = { EventUtil: { addHandler: function(element, type, handler) { try { if (element.addEventListener) { element.addEventListener(type, handler, false); } else if (element.attachEvent) { element.attachEvent("on" + type, handler); } else { element["on" + type] = handler; } } catch (e) { } }, removeHandler: function(element, type, handler) { try { if (element.removeEventListener) { element.removeEventListener(type, handler, false); } else if (element.detachEvent) { element.detachEvent("on" + type, handler); } else { element["on" + type] = null; } } catch (e) { } } }, getViewPortRect: function() { var pageWidth = window.innerWidth, pageHeight = window.innerHeight; if ("number" != typeof pageWidth) { if ("CSS1Compat" == document.compatMode) { pageWidth = document.documentElement.clientWidth; pageHeight = document.documentElement.clientHeight; } else { pageWidth = document.body.clientWidth; pageHeight = document.body.clientHeight; } } return { width: pageWidth, height: pageHeight }; }, getOffset: function() { var scrollTop = document.documentElement.scrollTop || document.body.scrollTop, scrollLeft = document.documentElement.scrollLeft || document.body.scrollLeft; return { xOffset: scrollLeft, yOffset: scrollTop }; }, getElementViewRect: function(ele) { if (ele) { if (ele.getBoundingClientRect) { return ele.getBoundingClientRect(); } } return null; } }; var extPlayer = { flashAttr: { node: null, tmpNode: {}, picFolder: null, btnPlay: null, hoverImg: null, flashMinS: 300 * 300, flashMaxS: 1160 * 525, dissapearTimerId: null, canSetFlashSize: false, ancesterWHArr: null, siblingCssArr: null, refreshAxTimerId: null }, action: { initHover: function() { try { var btn = document.createElement('div'); var img = document.createElement('img'); btn.style.position = 'absolute'; btn.style.zIndex = 9998; btn.style.cursor = 'pointer'; extPlayer.flashAttr.picFolder = window.external.getFolder(); img.setAttribute('src', 'file:///' + extPlayer.flashAttr.picFolder + '\alone_normal.png'); btn.appendChild(img); extPlayer.flashAttr.hoverImg = img; extPlayer.flashAttr.btnPlay = btn; Util.EventUtil.addHandler(extPlayer.flashAttr.btnPlay, "mouseover", extPlayer.callBacks.mouseoverBtn); Util.EventUtil.addHandler(extPlayer.flashAttr.btnPlay, "mousedown", extPlayer.callBacks.mousedownBtn); Util.EventUtil.addHandler(extPlayer.flashAttr.btnPlay, "mouseout", extPlayer.callBacks.mouseoutBtn); Util.EventUtil.addHandler(extPlayer.flashAttr.btnPlay, "click", extPlayer.callBacks.go); extPlayer.flashAttr.btnPlay.style.display = "none"; document.body.appendChild(extPlayer.flashAttr.btnPlay); setTimeout(extPlayer.action.tryToGo, 1000); } catch (e) { } }, uninit: function() { try { clearInterval(extPlayer.flashAttr.refreshAxTimerId); extPlayer.flashAttr.canSetFlashSize = false; extPlayer.flashAttr.node.width = extPlayer.flashAttr.tmpNode.width; extPlayer.flashAttr.node.height = extPlayer.flashAttr.tmpNode.height; extPlayer.flashAttr.node.style.width = extPlayer.flashAttr.tmpNode.width; extPlayer.flashAttr.node.style.height = extPlayer.flashAttr.tmpNode.height; extPlayer.flashAttr.node.style.marginLeft = extPlayer.flashAttr.tmpNode.marginLeft; extPlayer.flashAttr.node.style.marginRight = extPlayer.flashAttr.tmpNode.marginRight; extPlayer.flashAttr.node.align = extPlayer.flashAttr.tmpNode.align; if (!('v.qq.com' == location.host || 'www.4399.com' == location.host || 'v.ifeng.com' == location.host)){ extPlayer.action.recoverAncestors(extPlayer.flashAttr.node); } document.body.style.overflow = 'auto'; var html = document.getElementsByTagName('html'); html.style.overflow = 'auto'; document.body.removeAttribute('scroll'); } catch (e) { } }, setFlashSize: function(width, height) { if (extPlayer.flashAttr.canSetFlashSize) { extPlayer.flashAttr.node.style.width = width + 'px'; extPlayer.flashAttr.node.style.height = height + 'px'; extPlayer.flashAttr.node.width = width + 'px'; extPlayer.flashAttr.node.height = height + 'px'; } }, refreshAxPos: function() { try{ var box = Util.getElementViewRect(extPlayer.flashAttr.node); if (box == null){ return; } if (box.top < 0){ document.body.style.overflow = 'auto'; var html = document.getElementsByTagName('html'); html.style.overflow = 'auto'; document.body.removeAttribute('scroll'); document.documentElement.scrollTop += box.top; document.body.scrollTop += box.top; box.top = 0; html.style.overflow = 'hidden'; document.body.style.overflow = 'hidden'; document.body.setAttribute('scroll', 'no'); } window.external.refreshAxPos(box.left, box.top, box.right, box.bottom, window.screenLeft, window.screenTop); }catch(e){ } }, enumFlash: function(objArr) { for (var i = 0; i < objArr.length; ++i) { if (extPlayer.action.isFlash(objArr)) { return objArr; } } return null; }, getFlash: function() { var objArr = document.getElementsByTagName('object'); var node = extPlayer.action.enumFlash(objArr); if (null == node) { var embedArr = document.getElementsByTagName('embed'); node = extPlayer.action.enumFlash(embedArr); } return node; }, tryToGo: function() { if ('ispop' == window.external.ispop()) { extPlayer.flashAttr.node = extPlayer.action.getFlash(); extPlayer.callBacks.go('noextract'); } }, isFlash: function(obj) { try { var box = Util.getElementViewRect(obj); var width = box.right - box.left, height = box.bottom - box.top; return width * height >= extPlayer.flashAttr.flashMinS && width * height < extPlayer.flashAttr.flashMaxS && width <= height * 4 && (obj.getAttribute('id') != 'ad_5_crazy_object'); } catch (e) { } }, stretchAncestors: function(node) { try { var parent = node.parentNode; if (document.body == parent || document.body == node) { return; } var cssText = parent.style.cssText; extPlayer.flashAttr.ancesterWHArr.push(cssText); if ('video.' == location.host){ parent.style.position = 'absolute'; } parent.style.top = '0px'; parent.style.left = '0px'; parent.style.width = '10000px'; parent.style.height = '120000px'; parent.style.textAlign = 'left'; if (parent.nextSibling || parent.previousSibling){ parent.style.float = 'none'; if (parent.nextSibling){ var node = parent.nextSibling; while (node){ extPlayer.flashAttr.siblingCssArr.push({display : node.style ? node.style.display : '', ele: node}); if (node.style){ node.style.display = 'none'; } node = node.nextSibling; } } if (parent.previousSibling){ var node = parent.previousSibling; while (node){ extPlayer.flashAttr.siblingCssArr.push({display : node.style ? node.style.display : '', ele: node}); if (node.style){ node.style.display = 'none'; } node = node.previousSibling; } } } extPlayer.action.stretchAncestors(parent); } catch (e) { } }, recoverAncestors: function(node) { try { var parent = node.parentNode; var i = 0; while (document.body != parent) { parent.style.cssText = extPlayer.flashAttr.ancesterWHArr; parent = parent.parentNode; ++i; } for (var i = 0; i < extPlayer.flashAttr.siblingCssArr.length; ++ i){ var node = extPlayer.flashAttr.siblingCssArr; if (node.ele.style){ node.ele.style.display = node.display; } } } catch (e) { } } }, callBacks: { mouseoverBtn: function() { try { extPlayer.flashAttr.hoverImg.setAttribute("src", 'file:///' + extPlayer.flashAttr.picFolder + '\alone_hover.png'); extPlayer.flashAttr.btnPlay.style.display = ""; } catch (e) { } }, mouseoutBtn: function() { try { extPlayer.flashAttr.hoverImg.setAttribute("src", 'file:///' + extPlayer.flashAttr.picFolder + '\alone_normal.png'); } catch (e) { } }, mousedownBtn: function() { try { extPlayer.flashAttr.hoverImg.setAttribute("src", 'file:///' + extPlayer.flashAttr.picFolder + '\alone_down.png'); } catch (e) { } }, go: function(extract) { try { if (null == extPlayer.flashAttr.node) { extPlayer.flashAttr.node = extPlayer.action.getFlash(); } var box = Util.getElementViewRect(extPlayer.flashAttr.node); var html = document.getElementsByTagName('html'); html.style.overflow = 'hidden'; document.body.style.overflow = 'hidden'; document.body.setAttribute('scroll', 'no'); extPlayer.flashAttr.tmpNode.width = box.right - box.left + 'px'; extPlayer.flashAttr.tmpNode.height = box.bottom - box.top + 'px'; extPlayer.flashAttr.tmpNode.marginLeft = extPlayer.flashAttr.node.style.marginLeft; extPlayer.flashAttr.tmpNode.marginRight = extPlayer.flashAttr.node.style.marginRight; extPlayer.flashAttr.tmpNode.align = extPlayer.flashAttr.node.align; extPlayer.flashAttr.node.style.marginLeft = '0px'; extPlayer.flashAttr.node.style.marginRight = '0px'; extPlayer.flashAttr.node.align = 'left'; extPlayer.flashAttr.ancesterWHArr = new Array(); extPlayer.flashAttr.siblingCssArr = new Array(); if (!('v.qq.com' == location.host || 'www.4399.com' == location.host || 'v.ifeng.com' == location.host)){ extPlayer.action.stretchAncestors(extPlayer.flashAttr.node); } extPlayer.flashAttr.canSetFlashSize = true; extPlayer.flashAttr.refreshAxTimerId = setInterval(extPlayer.action.refreshAxPos, 500); if ('noextract' != extract) { window.external.ExtractFlash(box.left, box.top, box.right, box.bottom); } else { extPlayer.action.refreshAxPos(); window.external.refreshFlashTitle(); window.external.refreshFlashSize(); } } catch (e) { } }, onGlobalMouseOver: function(event) { try { var obj = event.srcElement; var tagname = obj.tagName.toLowerCase(); if ('object' == tagname || 'embed' == tagname) { if ('notpop' == window.external.ispop()) { if (extPlayer.action.isFlash(obj)) { if (null != extPlayer.flashAttr.dissapearTimerId) { clearInterval(extPlayer.flashAttr.dissapearTimerId); extPlayer.flashAttr.dissapearTimerId = null; } var box = Util.getElementViewRect(obj); var offset = Util.getOffset(); extPlayer.flashAttr.btnPlay.style.left = (box.right + offset.xOffset - 165) + 'px'; if (box.top + offset.yOffset - 29 > 0){ extPlayer.flashAttr.btnPlay.style.top = (box.top + offset.yOffset - 29) + 'px'; }else{ extPlayer.flashAttr.btnPlay.style.top = '0px'; } extPlayer.flashAttr.btnPlay.style.width = '64px'; extPlayer.flashAttr.btnPlay.style.height = '29px'; extPlayer.flashAttr.btnPlay.style.display = ''; extPlayer.flashAttr.node = obj; }else{ extPlayer.flashAttr.btnPlay.style.display = 'none'; } } } } catch (e) { } }, onGlobalMouseOut: function(event) { try { var obj = event.srcElement; var tagname = obj.tagName.toLowerCase(); if ('object' == tagname || 'embed' == tagname) { if ('notpop' == window.external.ispop()) { extPlayer.flashAttr.dissapearTimerId = setTimeout(function() { extPlayer.flashAttr.btnPlay.style.display = 'none'; }, 2000); } } } catch (e) { } } } }; try{ if ('true' == document.body.contentEditable || 'true' == document.body.canEditable || 'true' == document.body.contenteditable){ }else{ Util.EventUtil.addHandler(document.body, 'mouseover', extPlayer.callBacks.onGlobalMouseOver); Util.EventUtil.addHandler(document.body, 'mouseout', extPlayer.callBacks.onGlobalMouseOut); extPlayer.action.initHover(); } }catch(e){ } } } } catch (e) { }</SCRIPT>
<a href="http://www.tynews.com.cn/mingyi/jianruishiyou/shiyoubeijingnalinenzhi/5886.html" target="_blank" title="沈阳治疗尖锐湿疣医院">沈阳治疗尖锐湿疣医院</a><a href="http://www.tynews.com.cn/mingyi/jianruishiyou/shiyoubeijingnalinenzhi/5885.html" target="_blank" title="沈阳尖锐湿疣">沈阳尖锐湿疣</a><a href="http://www.tynews.com.cn/mingyi/jianruishiyou/najiayiyuannenzhihaojianruishiyou/5861.html" target="_blank" title="长春尖锐湿疣医院">长春尖锐湿疣医院</a>
页:
[1]